Sunday, October 18, 2009

Here Come the Waterworks

I don't have a whole lot of exciting things to blog about, being stuck at home all day with a newborn. So bare with me as I post about my currently crazy hormones.

I will willingly admit that I am feisty when I am pregnant. Perhaps when I am carrying a girl, and don't have testosterone raging through my body, I will act more like myself. But, with the last two pregnancies and the corresponding male embryos, you had better steer clear of me if you didn't want my opinion on something/everything. Thankfully, I can recognize my fieriness and although I can't exactly change the way I feel, I can at least warn the people around me. Many a nights I cautioned Greg early on that I was ornery and that he should not take it personal, but that he possibly should watch out.

Postpartum, I find my hormones are even more out of whack. I am not so aggressive anymore, but weepy. Weepy might be a gentle way to put it. I cry over everything, as in I cried the other night when watching Lois compete in a beauty pageant on Malcolm in the Middle. I cried when I received a very generous gift from a friend. I got teary eyed when we ran into another friend last night and she simply asked how I was doing. I hold back the tears when Brody cries out to be nursed for the fifth time during the night. Now don't go getting all worried; I am not depressed. The tears usually aren't even sad tears, a good part of the time I find myself crying because I am touched by someone's thoughtfulness, and often I just find myself crying for no reason at all.

I'm not really sure which version of me is better, feisty or weepy, but poor Greg, he is in it for the long haul. I have been pregnant or nursing, and thereby not myself, since August 2007 without a break! And, I still have about another year of breastfeeding to go until I can return to my normal, steadily-hormoned self.


Isaac and Lyndee said...

Congrats. Your baby is so cute. He looks a lot like you with his blonde hair. I hope you feel normal soon and that Brody will be a good baby.

*Marie* said...

lol I know the feeling. It seems everything turns on the tears- and most of it isn't even bad! (Like, reading your post and finding out someone else deals with the same thing I'm dealing with.) I wonder if there is a support group for us ;)

Lisa said...

My sweet friend,
Just let the tears flow, I say. It may be frustrating at times but I am sure it is a healthy way to get all those emotions out. I am a crier too. It is not a bad thing. It is good that you "feel". These are some tough childbearing years for you. Hang in there and blog away.
I love you