Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Mothers Day Lesson

I was a bit bummed out this Mothers Day. It was nothing as I would have imagined. I missed my mom, a lot. The flowers I had planned to take to her grave had died. I was sick and only made it through sacrament meeting. I had a messy house because I had been very sick the day before and didn't get around to cleaning. I spent a good portion of the day feeling inadequate as a mother myself because I've been too ill and exhausted with the pregnancy to give much attention to Palmer, and Greg told me that he wanted to get me something to commemorate the day, but he just ran out of time. Which is understandable; he's been picking up much of my slack taking care of Palmer. But still, I was a bit sad at the outcome of the day.

When I mentioned to my sister about the let down she said, "Welcome to real motherhood." The other women present all agreed, and I think, in that moment, I realized it was time to grow up a bit. I know I am a very sentimental person. I like to commemorate just about everything with happy words, parties and gifts. And mothers definitely deserve all the attention we can give them. But motherhood itself, is sadly not always sunshine and daises. Often it's hard. At times it's not so pretty and sometimes it even makes you sad. However, it is worth it. Every hug, kiss, laugh and cuddle make it worth it. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mom, and for the children that our Heavenly Father has entrusted me with. I am so thankful for my own mother, her love and support, and the fact that I will be able to be with her once again. I am grateful for Greg's mother, for the wonderful man she raised and for the sweet and fun Grandma she is to Palmer.

This is the only picture we could get of Palmer and me today. And yes, with a worn-out nauseated mommy (six people told me I looked sick and/or tired today) and a baby far past his naptime who proceeded to scream and cry the second after this was taken, it is a little rough. But as I learned today, sometimes that's what being a mom is. By the way, Greg did take pity on my moping self and told me to go take a bath and read this evening while he did the dishes. I'm quite certain that I owe a great deal of my mothering success to having a kind and dedicated husband and father by my side.


Adrienne said...

Well said, Lera, well said.

Lisa said...

I was thinking of you today as well as your sister's. This day will always bring mixed emotions. I broke down just once and no one knew. But I needed to.
It is so bitter sweet, you want to be happy that you are a mother and be thankful for your sweet children, yet your heart will always ache for you own mother.
I too have higher expectations then what usually transpires. So I understand some of what you are feeling. I am so sorry you are so sick. I love you

Barb said...

This IS motherhood. I only got a
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY from a stranger on the street yesterday. So your one up on me. Motherhood is all about the day-to-day little loves, hugs, and kisses. NOT the one day of cards and flowers.

Jenn said...

I agree with Barb and with what you said Lera ever so eloquently. Motherhood is definitely not the most credited for job but definitely worth it!

Rie Pie said...

I love you Lera and I think you are a wonderful mother.